


My Chaldea

by XXXphantommaiden666XXX (mothphistopheles)



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: F/F, F/M, Goths, cannon-typical proofreadign, now with illustrations, preps, when will the government stop my sinful hand
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-07 13:05:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17366384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothphistopheles/pseuds/XXXphantommaiden666XXX
Summary: Hi my name is Carmilla and I have shoulder-length bone-white hair with curls and a pointy tiara and yellow eyes like gold and a lot of people tell me I look like Vlad III (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gudako but I wish I was because she's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but I have an iron maiden. I have pale white skin. I'm also a Servant, and I live in a magic observatory called Chaldea in Antarctica where I'm in the assassin class (I'm 4* rarity).





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) Zetian, torturetechnique666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! SSKADI ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! QUICK ROX!

Hi my name is Carmilla and I have shoulder-length bone-white hair with curls and a pointy tiara and yellow eyes like gold and a lot of people tell me I look like Vlad III (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gudako but I wish I was because she's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but I have an iron maiden. I have pale white skin. I'm also a Servant, and I live in a magic observatory called Chaldea in Antarctica where I'm in the assassin class (I'm 4* rarity). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching chains around it and a red halfskirt, black stockings and a leather choker. I was walking outside Chaldea. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. 

  
"Hey Carmilla!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Berserker!

  
"What's up Hijikata?" I asked.

  
"Nothing." he said shyly.

  
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
> 
> AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Fangz 2 torturetechnique666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW liz stop flaming ma story ok!
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day I woke up in my room. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant Quick t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather leotard, a cage around it, red lace skirt and a mask on. I put on four pairs of chains on my staff, and let my hair down to shoulder length.

 

My friend, Zetian woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length amethyst purple hair and opened her red eyes.

 

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Hijikata yesterday!” she said excitedly.

 

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

 

“Do you like Hijikata?” she asked as we went out of the Assassin common room and into the Great Hall.

 

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

 

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Hijikata walked up to me.

 

“Hi.” he said.

 

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

 

“Guess what.” he said.

 

“What?” I asked.

 

“Well, Nero is having an event tommorow.” he told me.

 

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love Nerofest. It's my favorite event, besides Prison Tower.

 

“Well…. do you want to be on a team with me?” he asked.

 

I gasped.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da rihts to nerofest.
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the night of Nerofest I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. They had gold stitching on them. Then I put on a black leather leotard with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on a red half-skirt. I straightened my hair and let it down to mid-back. I felt a little depressed then, so I took a bath in blood. I read a depressing book while I bathed and I listened to some GC. I painted my long nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I added more chains to my outfit. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some maiden’s blood so I was ready to go to the exhibition match.

 

I went outside. Hijikata was waiting there in front of his sphinx. He was wearing a Buster t-shirt (w;re buster servants), a red and black cape, and had a katana and a gun (AN: A lot fo kewl servants have it ok!).

 

“Hi Hijikata!” I said in a depressed voice.

 

“Hi Carmilla.” he said back. We walked into the arena (the room number said 666) and flew on a sphinx to the place with the exhibition match. On the way we excitedly equipped event CEs. We both smoked rose petals and void dust. When we got there, we both hopped out of the sphinx. We went to the team’s front line and started charging our nps as we joined da support berserker.

 

“"All curses, unleashed...

there will be no mercy.

 Now you face against despair itself...

 Curruid Coinchenn!” Said cu (I don’t own da lines 2 dat np).

 

“Cu is so fucking hot.” I said to Hijikata, pointing to him as he went berzerk, clearing several waves.

 

Suddenly Hijikata looked sad.

 

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we fought the enemies. Then I caught on.

 

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

 

“Really?” asked Hijikta sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

 

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Cu and he’s going out with fucking Medb. I fucking hate that little prep.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly pink hair.

 

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Hijikata. After the concert, we ate some embers and asked Cu alter for their friend codes and CEs with them. We got summon tickets. Hijikata and I crawled back onto the Sphinx, but Hijikata didn’t go rayshift to Chaldea, instead he rayshifted into……………………… the Camelot Singularity!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I sed stup flaming ok cormilla’s name is GORMILLA nut mary su OK! HIJIKATA IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“HIJIKATA!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

 

Hijikata didn’t answer but he stopped the sphinx and he walked off of it. I walked off of it too, curiously.

 

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

 

“Carmilla?” he asked.

 

“What?” I snapped.

 

Hijikata leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was using madness enhancement) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and madness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

 

And then…………… suddenly just as Hijikata kissed me passionately. Hijikata climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a rock. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

 

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

 

 

It was…………………………………………………….Romani Archaman!


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Romaine swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Roman made and Hijikata and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Higikata comforted me. When we went back to the castle Roman took us to Gelles da Rais and da Vinci-chan who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Camelot singularity!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked da Vinci-chan.

“How dare you?” demanded Casta Gillez.

And then Hijikata shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”

Everyone was quiet. Roman and da Vinci still looked mad but Gilles said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Hijikata and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay, Carmilla?” Hijikata asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my fangz and my hair and changed into a red long coat with gold buttons and black leather boots. When I came out….

Hijikata was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to give me a CE with him on it. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a necklace and a matching turtlenek and high heeled boots that were black lether. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two belts on my skirt. I let my hair down to back length.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with maiden’s blood instead of milk, and a glass of blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic girl with short orange hair with a ponytail in it. She was holding so much quartz that she dropped a few and she was wearing a mystic code. She didn’t have glasses on and had orangey eyes and an orange scrunchie in her hairand there was no seal on her hand anymore. She had an ahoge on her head. She had a sexy English accent. She looked kinda like Shirou Emiya. She was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw her kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” she said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“I’m Chaldea’s master, although most people call me Gudako these days.” she grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Well, I am a gacha servant.” I confessed.

“Really?” she whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Hijikata came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	7. Chapter 7: Bring me 2 life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! cormilla isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A SEREAL KILLER! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXZXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hijikata and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was sharpening my nails into claw shapes(AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Gudako. Gacha misery was in her depressed eyes. I guess she was jealous of me that I was going out with Hijikata. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Hijikata. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my dress cage. Then I took off my black leather corset and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Hijiikata, Hijikata!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Hijikata’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Gudako!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Gudao pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably gave her your bond CE!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Hijikata ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Gudako’s room where she was training with Gilles and some other servants.

“GUDAKO, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Hijikata came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Cormilla, it’s not what you think!” Hijikata screamed sadly.

My friend Gorgon smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long body-length gothic purple hair and shifted her blindfold that she was wearing over her face. She had scales like a snake. Medusa used to be a goddess. Her siblings are also goddesses and she became a beast and ate them and she was depressed about htem. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real class is avenger and not Rider. (Since she has converted classez she is chaotic evil now not chaotic gud. )

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Gillez de Rais demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“Gudako, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Hijikata!” I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Cormilla was so mad at me. I had went out with Gudako (I’m bi and so is Cormilla) for a while but then she broke my heart. She dumped me because she liked Liz, a stupid preppy servant. We were just good friends now. She had gone through horrible problems, and now she was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“But I’m not going out with Hijikata anymore!” said Gudako.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Camelot Singularity where I had lost my virility to Hijikata and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da vn! dis is frum da ova ok so itz nut my folt if romaine swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson gillez dosent lik Gudako now is coz hez 3* and gudako keepz seliling him for prismz! QUIK ROX!
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Hijikata for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Hijikata.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and a braid and everything started flying towards me on a demon pillar! He had a weird loopy braid (basically like Solemon in the London singlarity) and he was wearing red but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… solomon!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Solomon shouted “Ars Almondel Salmonis!” and I couldn’t run away.

“Fou!” I shouted at him. Salmon fell of his demon pillar and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Carmilla.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Gudako!”

I thought about Gudako and her sexah eyes and her gothic orange hair and how her face looks just like shirou emiya’s. I remembered that Hujikata had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if hijikata went out with Gudako before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Slamon!” I shouted back.

Solomon gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Hijikata!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Sloman got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “And if you doth not kill Gudako, then thou know what will happen to Hijikata!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his demonz.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Hijikta came into the woods.

“Hijikata!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. 

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Chaldez together making out.


End file.
